Billy Beer

At the house in Maine, there were many tchotchkes, knickknacks and baubles scattered about to give the place a little, you know, character. Among these, was this artifact from 1976:

Yes, an unopened can of Billy Beer! The beer was named for then-President Jimmy Carter's little brother and carried his ringing endorsement: "I had this beer brewed up just for me. I think it's the best I ever tasted. And I've tasted a lot. I think you'll like it, too."

Erik fought the urge to abscond with the priceless relic for two reasons: 1) Stealing is wrong and 2) There was a good chance that the antique could've exploded in our suitcase on the plane-ride home, staining our clothes and other valuables with 35-year-old Billy beer.
That doesn't wash out...no matter how much bicentennial-era Borax you use.