Gee, thanks.

I don't know if it's the font, the layout or the color of the sign but this makes me feel safe not at all. No wait, I've got it. it's the wording. "We're looking into it"? That's the best you guys could do?  This is a sign posted by the city of New York. I didn't even know something was going on but as soon as I saw this on a manhole I assumed the sidewalk might blow up beneath my feet at any moment. So, just so you guys know, that's the kind of confidence this sort of thing breeds.

P.S. ConEd, you guys are in charge of the gas. Your slogan should not be "On it." Thanks.

On The Jazz . . .

We went to Blue Note on Friday to see the "Living Legend"* Dave Brubreck perform. Sure he's old, but still amazing. This is no exaggeration, those old guys played some pretty serious music. Mrs. Burg had to restrain herself from shouting and clapping every ten seconds.

The "Spike Lee Joint" We Actually Wanted to Own

We have nothing against Mr. Lee*, we just don't love most of his work. But this new vodka from Absolut is tasty and charitable**, so we're cool with the Spike Lee contribution. Also, did you know Spike Lee was from Cobble Hill? That basically makes us his neighbor and extremely skeptical of his "street cred."

*Well, those Pizza Hut ads were out of line, ESPECIALLY for a Brooklyn native. Karen tried that pizza and it was an abomination. Let's be real, he is basically a sell out . . . but I mean, we're not here to judge the man.

**Yes, we already purchased. And proceeds go to Habitat for Humanity in Bed-Stuy.

This is One of Those Rare Times That We REALLY Miss California

While the breakfast at this place was vastly superior to any NON-English breakfast we ever ate in Santa Monica, we knew the health code rating of any given establishment in LA County just by looking at the big letter grade in their window.

We really don't know what happened and the signs are already down, so maybe our favorite brunch spot will reopen unscathed. Karen's hoping it was a mental issue*, but Erik is not so optimistic.

Fortunately, this city is finally adopting LA's policy and the letters are going up in July. We are anxiously awaiting the results of our other favorite places with that mix of fear and high expectations that we imagine parents have over report cards. (Reason #344 why we shouldn't have kids.)

*Look at the sign a little closer if you don't get it.

My Cat Can Eat a WHOLE Watermelon.

I know, at first glance this looks like some weird animatronic cat in Disney's Haunted Mansion, but I assure you, this is a real cat. This furry friend was spotted outside the enormous church on the corner of our block. Erik somehow captured the cat's very soul on film . . . bravo!

In other news, Karen isn't sure what you're supposed to do to ward off demon cats, but she's hanging a cross and some garlic on our door just to be safe. (Are those eyes the two colors of evil?)

A Panhandler Without A City

New York: Well, Los Angeles, it's been awhile.

Los Angeles: Yes, it has. What's up?

New York:  The other day I read about how "superheroes" and other characters are being outlawed on Hollywood Boulevard. You know, these guys.

Los Angeles:  Yes, they are. We finally decided they're a little sketchy. And?

New York: Well, Elmo's hanging out around Rockefeller Center, accosting tourists and gesturing wildly toward his tip-bag. Are you sending them here?

Los Angeles: They have to go somewhere. What do you want us to do? They have to make a living!

New York: Or they could just not panhandle in garish outfits and get a real job.

Los Angeles: Yeah...they're not going to do that.

New York: Well. Tell Spongebob he's not welcome here. He smells a little too much like urine. Even for us.